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Do you know how to stop something? You just stop.
What? You say you can't? You say you've tried? You say you've tried and tried, and you just can't? Chances are, you have before.
Chances are, you've been in the middle of reaching for something, doing something, or having something, and you've stopped, stopped right in your tracks. For instance:
Have you ever froze in the act of doing something? You hear your mom or dad's voice saying your name in that special way that they have, and you actually FREEZE? I do. JANIS ANN! Several years later and I still go YIKES!
Or how about this? You are ready for bed, you've brushed your teeth, and you go to reach for some pop corn. Suddenly, you remembered that you'd brushed your teeth, and you don't want to brush them again. A little voice says "Stop!" or "Don't eat that! You just brushed your TEETH!" and you yank your hand back immediately! Right?
Have you ever wanted to buy something, but you knew if you did, you wouldn't have enough money to do something else? Something like fix your car, remodel the family room, go on a vacation, or whatever it is that you have planned? Of course you're not going to dip into the funds for anything that doesn't help with your goal, especially if you're serious enough about it.
How about another time when you've saved up to buy something. You've been looking forward to getting it forever, the time has finally arrived and you take your best friend with you to purchase the item. Your best friend doesn't like it. He or she points out everything that's wrong with it. Of course, you're going to think twice about buying it now, and you may NOT even buy it now, even though you've looked forward to it "forever."
You stopped, didn't you? Each of those times, or times very similar to them. So, let's see what you can do with your mind to simulate or replay those instances to your advantage, so you can STOP again, whenever you want.
Let's say you always snack, but you want to quit snacking. How serious can you be? Can you make it a point to brush your teeth right after each meal, and act like it would be the most horrible thing in the world if you dirtied your teeth before the next meal? If you want to try a different way of thinking about something, try imagining what you are about to eat as little bitty pieces of dirt and disease that is going to walk around your clean teeth and embed itself in all the little crevices. Yuck. And then you'll have to go to the dentist and have all those cavities filled. Who would want to do that?
Let's say you always "lash" out at people and you know you shouldn't but you can't seem to STOP. How serious can you be about this? Can you easily and automatically hear your parent's voice? There they go. They've said "your name" again.
Let's say you always buy too much, or too often. How serious can you be about this? Can you easily and automatically hear your best friend say he or she just doesn't like what you are buying, that it's crass, that it clashes with everything, that it's so un-you, so you put it back? You STOP.
Everyone is different, so if these situations don't make you stop, find what will. That's how you change. You find that something doesn't work for you, and then you find out what does. You CHOOSE the one that does.
Can you STOP? Can you stop NOW? Great!
Thanks for reading,
Jan
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